Hey Ya!

It's almost end of the year already..
Ok, not almost, it is end of the year tomorrow.
I've planned out to stay in at a friend's place, dvds marathon and endless snacking!=)
No, I have not write any resolutions..
but instead, I might write out about people that I have met over the years.
That's if I have some time to spare in front of the lappie by tonite or tomorrow!=D
So,
Wait for it people
Wait for it!=D

p.s : I said I might gone crazy after my KL trip, that didn't happen. I'm quite contented and happy! And another thing, I've handed in my resignation today. 27th February 2010 will be my last day of working. So, YAY! I hope what's in store for me after this gonna be a real good reward for me after trying to be patience for two years.

Speechless

There I was
Standing and Wondering
what if things were different last time?
what if I made my choice?
what if I actually decided?
Will I be as miserable as hell right now for deciding to stay?
Or will I be happy and the big black hole wont be here right now?

And then it hits me.
What he said was true.
I was way too stubborn to look around
Way too delusional to see clearly
Way too ignorant to care
Way too coward to decide what I want

I only saw things the way I wanted them to be
I was hoping for something that's impossible from the beginning
I was hoping for miracle
I was hoping that certain people will change over the time
I was hoping for too many things
Expecting impossible things
Wanting to believe on things that never existed
Most importantly,
I was being delusional.

Here I am
Wide awake
Decided
Moving on
Walking away
Leaving

Thanks to E for waking me up and know exactly what to say when I never said anything.
Thanks to A for always being there and supporting.
Thanks to V for being my happy pills and being silly.
I love you all! heaps!

I can't not be bitchy

I can't do something that's out of character kind.
I really can't.
Do not expect me to smile or say hi to you when I do not actually know you in person when we bumped onto each other (eg. you are a friend of my friend and we were never actually introduced to or talk to)
No, I can NOT.

If you make me mad at you, do NOT expect that I will be nice and all mellow forgiving type even after you explain it all to me. Trust me, I can get over it but I can NOT be nice to you within few days time. I'll probably be this bitter and cynical bitch to you for over a week or two or three depends on why I got mad at the first place.

If I dislike you, trust me, I will NOT hesitate to show that I dislike you.
You would thought I have no balls (which in real I don't have those 'balls') to show my dislike. You are definitely wrong. I have shown my dislike-ness towards one of the director of our sub-company. I blatantly act like he doesn't exist and refuse to do anything he requested unless my boss instructed me to. Plus some family from my dad's side too. Some may say I'm too childish to behave that way. But really, do I have to be a fake cheery smiley girl and pretend that I like them and then bitch about them from the back? Sorry dude, can't do.

This said it all

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we re not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

(Macy Gray - I Try)

Yet again

my current faves!=D

Loves

Here Here Here
Sharing some of my sleeping lullaby song!
One of my top fave!

Anya Marina
Satellite Heart

So Pretty, So Smart
Such A Waste Of A Young Heart
Whatta Pitty Whatta Sham
What's The Matter With You Man?

Don't You See What's Wrong Can't You Get It Right?
Outta Mind, And Outta Sight
Call On All Your Girls, Don't Forget The Boys, Put a Lid On All That Noise.

I'm a Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
I'm Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I'll Be True To You

I Hear Your Living Out Of State Running In A Whole New Scene. You Know I Haven't Slept In Weeks, Your The Only Thing I See

I'm a Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
Im Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I'll Be True To You

No Matter What You Do, Yeah I'll Be True To You.

Looking for My Person!

I’m bored as hell right now.

My blackberry’s service is down.

My office’s phone line and internet are down as well.

And one person, that I normally bug when I’m this bored, is no longer my person.

Oh well,

I’m like this huge internet junkie that once the injection isn’t given right on time, I will flip. Like now, I’m flipping. I’m bored as hell and I’ve been nagging all around the office.

From the finance department till the purchasing department, I’ve been nagging for those unfinished work and unnecessary things.

Who says without the internet, my work at office will be productive? I need to read and reply those freaking emails from my suppliers and customers. Since I can’t do that, I’ve been slacking around since lunch hour. My work of the day is done. But there are still a few minor things need me to use my brain and I just can’t. I’m practically staring at the lcd right now and typing all this in my Microsoft Word. How lame is that?

My sleep quality and quantity still the same. No improvement at all. Even after I filled my ipod with those soothing songs. I’m still having insomnia or nightmares if I actually fall asleep. So, sleeping well? Nada. Zero. Nothing. It’s even worse than before I think. And I look like a total panda right now. Straight imported Panda from China. I don’t care. I will wake up early this Sunday and going to swim my head off. I don’t care if its too pricey or I’m gonna bumped into anyone.

So not care.

I need to swim.

I need my person.

Like now.

Where’s Melissa in this town?

I think I’m gonna go insane after my sis isn’t here and I come back from my 10 days trip. Yes, I probably will go nuts. Wait for it people. Just waiiiit for it people!

Wicked

So, after a week of roaming around the room and the five minutes away mall, decided to fill up my calendar with something exciting rather than moping around the house like some walking zombie.

I will go and watch New Moon (like finally) tomorrow (if we can get tickets)

I will be a couch potato again tonight and watch another dvd that sis and I bought last friday during our random boredom and went out to roam around the city.

I will attend this church xmas thing on Thursday at (I-forget-which-hotel) AD or JWM or Swissbell with my sis and probably dragging along few miserable souls with us as well.

Now, the only empty schedule I have is... tadaa... Saturday and Sunday!
As for Saturday, anyone wanna date me? *winkwink*
Sort of promised my uncle to go church with sis this Sunday. So, if I really attend this one, I'm gonna have to wake up early and I can take nap after lunch hours. And that will be my Sunday.. Oooo.. I love lazy Sunday!<3

Big Fat Liar

So, after abandoning this blog for I don't know how freaking long, I'm here again.
Yet again, with another endless rant and useless bitching for random stuffs.
Bear with me, I just need to vent it out loud.
And I don't give a fuck whose reading all these.

I just don't get it. Really.
I am not a noble person or someone that carries honesty all the time.
I do white lies black lies and whatever lies it is when I have that need to save my ass off from something.
But when I PROMISE I WON'T fucking lie. I DON'T fucking LIE. EVER.
Then again, I'm not the type of always keep my promises as well.
It's just this typical promise I made to this certain person.
I thought that particular person is my best friend.
Or so I thought.
And we will never lie to each other.
Or so I thought.
See, when I really DO keep MY PROMISES, that's gotta mean something right?
Oh well, that retard person don't fucking value that promise.

So, here comes the story, I am the one fool standing and trying to keep that promise.
I am one fool almost every time that person fucking lie to my face and I forgave it.
I am one fool for believing again and again that person wont lie to my face again.
Yes, it has been a repetitive cycle of that person lying on my face.
Tried so hard to cover it up with another bunch of lies and I found out all about it.
Had enough of that particular person. Decided to cut off all communications.

Enough is Enough

Good bye, big fat liar.

And oh, will update the songs and my blog-skin today!
Yay!
bored of the current one!
puih!

Yes, I'm Updating!

Well Well Well,
I literally lost my mood to blog..
ever since i got my hands on those berries and twitter!=p
Rant almost every single day here
follow me if you want to =)
There's been bad and good things going on ever since my last update..
And here's some random updates without proper time line..

*
Father of one of my good friend passed away two days ago =(

Went to the memorial service yesterday with another three friends whom don't know each other but all of them know me and her. It's weird to see how me and her has same friends but those friends do not know each other like me and her. I guess every one does love her chatty and friendly personality =) Its nice to know there's people around you when you are at one of the lowest point of life..

**
Went to KL on August with pela tagging along =)
One of many happy moments in my life!=)
I went home in the morning and no one bugs me
Having him and melissa around <3
It was close to perfect =)
Uploaded bunch of pictures in my facebook and more to come when my sister is home!
And she's gonna be home in... 9 more hours from now!!=D
Can't wait! Our parents aren't gonna be home next week and I have already stocked up so many food at home! hoho.. gonna stay up late and eat and watch dvds with my fat sister!=p

***
and that's all for today!
update more when i'm in the mood
or
you can follow me @twitter for daily updates of my never ending rants!=p
toodles!
xoxo

Tagged by Meidot

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
4. Tag 5 friends...
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
The Noisette - When you were young

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Nasri - Whatever Whatever (EH!??)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Stefanie Heinzmann - Like A Bullet (HAHA!)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Valen Hsu - Yi You Ai Jiu Zou Ba

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Dada Life - Happy Hands & Happy Feet

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Joanna Wang - Vincent

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sara Bareilles - Bottle It Up

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Khalil Fong - Sing along Song

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Fish Leung - Bei Zai Wei Da Liu Lei

WHAT IS 2+2?
Brooke White - When we were one (yes??) ha!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
Marie Digby - Beauty in Walking Away (HA!!!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Jason Mraz - Details in the Fabric

DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
BEP - Meet Me Halfway

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE AT YOUR WEDDING?
Demi Lovato - Here we go again

WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Lena Park

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Michael Bolton - The best part of me

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Akon ft. Wil Phan - Be with you

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Fish Leung - Wei Wo hao

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Nick Jonas ft. Miley - Before the Storm

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Florence and the Machine - You ve got the love

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Priscilla Ahn - Dream

Busy Busy Weekend!

So, I had pretty much packed and busy saturday!
Start off with stick around the office for half day.
Drove to saloon after the ofx hours end.
Went home for awhile to change to mini dress.
Went to Tiara for Ici's wedding reception and meet up with Vera there.
Didn't get the chance to take pix with the bride and groom.
But Ici's wedding gown is purple and fab!!!=D

Ms. V and me



Head off to Cambridge to shop a lil and ate J.cool.
bought a dress @ Fashion Lounge
(which then I wore to the reunion below)





Then after happy and full of yogurts from J.Co
I went home, take a quick bath and change.
Head off to pick up Ms. J
Rushed to Exchange Club
here we are!
tonnes of pixs are in my fb
posted some of them here
enjoy!






wrapped up in news papers and pretend to be a Miss VU
*faints*









off to prime @ J. W. Marriot after the reunion

p.s : thx to nova's recommendation, i love my hair-do!!!will certainly go back to pieter again!!=)

yet another day has passed

blah.

That's pretty much I can say about my monday.

Its a Blah.

My boss isn't around.

I watched dvds while doing my work.

And it's still a BLAH.

Never ending work that needed to be done asap.

Never ending of complains.

Never ending of every things.

I'm bored.

I need a new enviroment that have different cubicles, different work-mates, tonnes of eye candies and a place I can finally wear those sophisticated working outfit without having your colleagues' eyes popped out because you seems to be over-dressed~!

Unfortunately, this is the only place and cubicle that pays me this huge fat checque every month, picked up by the office's car and I don't have to be bothered to make up or dress up nicely to office. Yes, I'm still complaining and bitching eventhough I am having this pretty much boring but pays well job.

Cupcakes Attacked.

Spent almost the whole day of yesterday's public holiday with Vera.
Did a little bit shopping at Paladium and had lunch at Asian Food. Loves their fried noodles, dislike the dimsum. Went home and starting to bake cupcakes! Here's some pictures to summarize up our cupcakes day!=D

our messy but yummy cupcakes!!

vera's decorations

my decorations

J. Cool

I was watching Grey's after dinner
What a perfect laze around thing to do when you are just too tired after whole day long of working.. rite? BUT mom being mom, screw it up. Asked to me to send her and my aunt to Cambridge to get some eyes supplement for my aunt. Dragged my ass off from the monitor and drove them. It was all tad bit annoying until I saw J.Cool! Haxhax..Being an evil child I am, I grabbed some cash from mommy's wallet (after I asked from her, of course) and got myself this yummylicious yogurt from J. Cool. YUummmmmyy! Or Is it because I didn't use my own money to buy those..?? That's why it tasted even more delicious..?*grins*

J. Cool with lycee, nata de coco and peach topping

Cupcakes

Tried to make some cupcakes yesterday!=D
The icing wasn't that nice because the sugar didn't melt!=(
Its like when you tasted the icing, you still can feel the rough sugar in it.
I don't like the icing's colour as well!
Not dark enough and not chocolate-y enough as well!
I don't like it when I failed on baking things like this.
I'm gonna try to do it again this coming thursday!!









I decorated on the cupcakes while it's still hot.
The icing melt and this is how it looked like~
haha..



my sis loves it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(as if she was there eh?)=p



loveloveloves

Dream
Priscilla Ahn

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

TaGGed by Sheila

1. Real Name : Anita Setio
2.Nickname(s) : Nek, Nit, Taa, Bebe, kodok, tweety, ntaa
3.Age : 24
4.Height : 157
5.Weight : 45kg
6.Spec or contact lens : occasionally spec
7.Horoscope : libra
8.Male or Female : F
9.Tv or Games : tevee
10.Primary School : Meth 3
11.Secondary School : Meth 3
12.Poly or Jc : none
13.University : VUT @ SYUC
14.Hair colour : BLACK !
15.Long or short hair : long!!
16.Loud or Quiet : loud!
17.Sweats or Jeans : shorts
18.Phone or camera : phone
19.Health Freak : nopeeeee
20.Drink or smoke : drink
21.Have a crush on someone ? : hmmm... nooo?
22.Eat or drink ? : eatt
23.Piercing(s) : ears
24.Tattoos : none
25.Social or anti-social : depends on my mood!
26.First Relationship : junior hisch
27.First bestfriend : hmm...
48.Wealthy or happiness : can I have both? *grins*
49.Want to get married ? : yeah
50.Want kids ? : YEAHH!
51.Careers in mind : hmm.. business owner?no? haha..
52.Fight before ? : yeah
53.Most regret of : quite a few
54.Talented in : cooking!!=D
55.Weak in ? : calculations!=(
56.Romantic or spontaneous ? : both
57.Lip or eyes ? : eyeees
58.Nice stomach or nice arms ? : both LARH!
59.Shorter or Taller ? : TALLLERRRRRR
60.Protective or Caring : caring
61.Hook-up or Relationships : relationships
62.Troublemaker or hesitant : troublemaker.. hihi..
63.Lost glasses or contacts : glasses
64.Ran away from home : nope
65.Held a gun/knife for self defense : gun
66.Killed somebody : no
67.Broken someone's heart : maybee.. xixi..
68.Been arrested : no
69.Cried when someone died : yeap
70.Missed someone a lot a lot : yeap
71.Believe in Yourself : yeap
72.Believe in Miracles : yeap
73.Love at first sight : b***sh*t!
74.Heaven or Hell : heaven?
75.Santa Claus : sort of..
76.Cartoon or anime : cartoooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
77.Tooth Fairy : please make 'em white and flashy!!haha..
78.Kiss in the first date : nope
79.Afraid of death : yeap. I haven't live my life to the fullest!!
80.Handsome or cute : the middle of
81.Pretty or cute : cute
82.Reality or dream : both
83.Is there a person you want to be with now ? : yeap
84.Are you seriously happy with what you're in life now ? : im fine with it =D
85.Do you believe in fate ? : yeah
86.Do you believe in everlasting love ? : sort of
87.Do you believe in god ? : yeap
88.How often do you lie ? : yeap
89.Do you respect elders ? : sometimes.. xixi..
90.Are you a good kid ? : not really
91.Do you like your family ? : yeap
92.Do you like your friends ? : yeap
93.Are you greedy ? : yeaaap!=p
94.What do you want now ? : $$$
95.What will you wish for ? : hmm.. be better in everything!
96.A truth to first person ? : depends on whats the truth
97.A truth to second person ? : depends on whats the truth
98.A truth to third person ? : depends on whats the truth
99.Do you even trust yourself ? : yeap
100.post as 100th truth tag 10 person : MALES!=p

HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY

to

Vera Fransisca!

ps: sengaja kutulis 24 mu gede gede!hahahahahahahha!!

what's done is done

Ignoring my ex(es) is one of so many things that I am not proud of. I do know that it is so childish and inappropriate. Plus, the break-up was done nicely and in a proper way.

It's just that sometimes it's hard, really really really hard, to decide letting go that particular person that has been in your life for quite some time. Although, both of us dig our own graveyard and bury the relationship. It still feels like all of sudden, he's gone. Done. Done with you. Done with the relationship. Done with everything that you and him used to have. And no matter how much I have prepared for it, it still hurts. It took months and months of sleep deprived and wandering around aimlessly. After awhile, its gone and done.

Then, few months back, I bumped into one of my ex whom was with his girlfriend at that time. I was speechless and taken by surprise to see him around. I had the chance to walk up and talk to him. But I did the exact opposite thing. I ignored him with a blank look of you-are-not-even-existed. Being fully unprepared and snobbish as the nature of me, I walked away with my friends.

Today, while browsing aka facebook-ing around, I saw his picture. Oddly, that heavy feelings are not around anymore. It feels like he is just like any other person that I saw before and forgot ten about. And with this I'm sure, I'm really done. Done with him. Done with the memories. Done with the pain. Done with everything. Finally, feeling liberated for the very first time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to

Nova Diana!

Urban Jazz Crossover

Time to color this blog with some pictures!!
I noticed that I have not been posting much pictures lately..
Well, here it is...
I attended Urban Jazz Crossover @ J. W. Marriot on Friday. The tickets was quite cheap and at first, I wasn't expecting much as well. You cant blame me for not expecting much.. being a first timer and the cheap tickets.. BUT! There I was surprised by how much fun I had, stunned by the fabulous backdrops, remarkable singers and band! Loves the whole event! And the thing that I love the most is.. NO SMOKING ALLOWED IN THE HALL!!! It felt sooo good to be in a crowded place with a great music and lungs free from the ciggies at the same time!

Anw, I'm so totally recommending this particular singer's! Her name is Lala, half Indonesian - half Philippines. Listened to her for the first time at the urban jazz event and fall in love with her voice immediately! I'll post up her youtube after this post. Got her whole complete album today, listened to it and the verdict is, she sounds better on live version!!! She also sang a jazzy remix of High & Dry by Radiohead and trust me, she is GREAT!

Lala sang What About You from her Stars album

The great singers and guitarist - Glenn Fredly, Ari Lasso, Candil and Andi /rif

The fab lighting system!

Candil sang Beat It

Ari Lasso sang Mana Ku Tahu

Dana & Dira sang American Boy! loves loves loves it!!

Alrite.. that's it for today!
time for bed!
I'm gonna go to saloon to have my hair done coz I'm gonna attend a friend's bro's wedding tomorrow! so, toodless!! have a great weekend peeps!=)

p.s : sorry for the uneven sized pictures and the unorganized pictures. It's already 01.30 am and I was just updating to distract myself.. since I can't really sleep and such.. so, thats it!

Lala

Click here to download her album!!

eventually..

I am the most annoying and demanding bitch in this whole world when I WANT something so badly. And most of the time, I GET what I WANT. No matter what it takes. But this time, I got beat down by the immigration for failing to get visa-sponsor from a company that I want to work for. I also failed to grab on a thin line that has become an addiction and necessity (mind you, its not drugs or booze or ciggies). A thin line that, literally, has turned into an obsessive compulsive disorder. And believe me, it didn't end up well for me. It's ugly, messy and bloody (okays, not really bloody.. I was just exaggrating things!)
Two failures came at the same time.
It is bloody right?=(
oh well..
I have *finally* come around to accept the point that you can't always have what you want.
Something(s) are just not meant to be yours.
All you can do is put on a big smiley face and be tough.
Because whatever it is, if it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger...
or so I heard..

Well well well..

Its kinda late now..
Gotta go to bed and to work tomorrow.. haix..
And I'm gonna go to this Urban Jazz Crossover @ JWM thing tomorrow..
I hope its gonna be fun!
I need FUN!
taa~

i said she said.. here we are.

What is your current obsession?
* Loss 2kgs

What is your weirdest obsession?
* i have to have what i wan

What are you wearing today?
* now? pjamas!(=

What’s for dinner today?
* mum's chicken rice

Why is today special?
* i heard some good news... well, i wont tell! I don't want to jinx it! wait for the premiere la!=p

What would you like to learn to do?
* to be more organized and focus!

What’s the last thing you bought?
* earrings from nova

What are you listening to right now?
* Chillin - Wade ft. Lady Gaga

What is your favorite weather?
* Cloudy and windy day.

What is your most challenging goal right now?
* Finish all of my work on time and stop procrastinating!!

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
* lil sis : totally smart and dimwitted at the same time. confused? go figure!=p

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
* KL! hihi..

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
* Money!! end of month dy!! (sounds like my sis alr)

What would you like to get rid of?
* past! well, since we cant do anything about it, how about.. my messy room instead?=p

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
* E.U.R.O.P.E!! for like three months!!!

Which language do you want to learn?
* hmm... lets stick to the easiest and the one that I really need, Cantonese!!

What do you look for in a friend?
* honesty, caring, bitchy (not to each other, but we can be bitchy about other things together.. eg. my beloved darling Melissa!!!)

Who do you want to meet in person?
* Adrian and Irving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s your favorite type of music?
* anything nice!=D practically listens to any kind of musics.

What’s the favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
* tee and shorts

What is your dream job?
* anything that involves being free, cooking and traveling!!

Any favorite models?
* nah.. but if I have to pick, Agyness Deyn wud do too..

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
* Lomo!

Favorite designer?
* Vera Wang

Do you admire anyone’s style?
* Yep. Blair Waldrof's.

Describe your personal style!
* chic!

too much

I have been, literally, screaming out loud what I felt, what I hate, what I dislike, and what I don't agree on. It has reached to the point of too-much and I just want it all to stop. I want the old Anita back!! The one that has her own 'remote-control' to her emotions. I would easily put on a I-don't-give-a-damn face and no one would even notice that I was so frustrated and furious inside.
I want that Anita back.
And I want it now.
So, from now on, that smiley and all bubbly Anita is back.
So long honest face..!
*evil grins*

my current fave!

super duper in love with this song!!
check this one out!=D
I have also put blue sky collapse at the left side bar..
check that one out too!=D

How much I have missed you..

Dear Old Friend,

I miss those times when we would try so hard to get out of the 'normality of the city'
I miss those times when you were around to pick me up from my bad-moods
I miss those times when you always call to check on me
I miss those times when we would go out to nowhere and giggling all the way
But most importantly,
I miss you
I'm sorry for making things go all wrong between us.
I'm sorry for pushing you away when you are hurt because of what I have done.

Please don't leave me
Pink

Da da da da
da da da da

Da da da da da,

I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you out of here?
Or said something insulting?

Da da da da da

I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything,
I could cut you into pieces,
But my heart is, broken.

Da da da da da

Please don't leave me [x2]
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious,
What is it with you that makes me act like this,
I've never been this nasty,
Can't you tell that this is just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest,
But baby I don't mean it,
I mean it, I promise

Da da da da da

Please don't leave me [x2]
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud,
How beautiful you really are to me,
I can't be without,
You're my perfect little punching bag,
And I need you,
I'm sorry.

Da da da da
da da da da

Da da da da da

Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)

I always say how I don't need you,
But it's always gonna come right back to this,
Please don't leave me,

Please, please don't leave me.

HA! look at how funny those lyrics are!
basically she needed that boy for punching bag.
I want one too!!

ice cream dont make me feel happy anymore

I remembered how sugar can easily fix my mood.
No matter how bad or how sad I was feeling, a cup of ice cream normally would fix my mood. I'll feel more optimistic and ready to deal with the problems. But not for today, it feels like the 'ice cream' has betrayed me. I no longer feel happy or a lil bit better after I had them.
I just wish that this feeling of sorrows can just go away.
gawd.. when is this actually gonna end?
why every time one problem solved, another one comes along..

My Piece of Mind

Like every girl in this planet, I don't like to be reminded of my age. I still feel I am freaking young in age of 24 and unmarried. Oddly enough, I feel GOOD for being UNMARRIED yet. I am still thinking that I am too young to actually settle down and make babies. I felt that if I am getting married at this age, I am so gonna screw up every thing.

I am not prepared to have a crying babies begging for food in the middle of the night as I can't even be bothered to wake up when I heard a loud noise in the living room. I am not prepared enough to be a good housewife coz I hate doing dishes and cleaning bathrooms. I am so not prepared to be nice to bitchy in-laws and their followers (not that my-might-be-in-laws-are-bitchy, they are perfectly fine) And certainly, I am so not prepared to lost all of those opportunities of being unmarried and young and vain.

Fine, there are some people think they are old enough to built families in their early 20s. Fine! Go do your getting married early and making tonnes of babies at your early 20s. I do not have anything go against you. Because getting married or not, that's your own choice and its your life not mine! BUT when one started to press on the idea of ME should be GETTING MARRIED SOON, that's just plain annoying. I have been explaining about the reasons why me and him are not planning to get married anytime soon over and over again. Even my mom can understand why we, both are so not ready, mentally and financially. We both still wants to spend more time to explore all of the opportunities we can have when we are unmarried.

Sigh. Some people are just pushy, ain't they? Please, for godsake, understand and actually listen to what I said. I am not READY. I am not even an EXPERT in being a kick-ass secretary. How can you expect me to be a kick-ass housewife and mother?? tell me.

Stuck

For no apparent reason, this song stuck on my head =(

Sunset
Marques Houston

I remember the day you first told me that
I was the man that had your heart
from that day forth i knew that nothing would
evee come and tear us apart

so then people try to warn me about you
said that i should never trust you
but so stupid me i didn't listen then
i let myself go fall in love with you

(what happened to us)
you were supposed to be my future
but do i really have to take it right back
(are you really in love)
or was i just a game to prove to yourself
you could get a man

you're more beautiful than anything in this world
more precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
and even though we didn't work out together
you're still my sunset-set-set-set
and i know that you and i are two worlds apart
but you'll always be the one to have my heart
i'm gonna love you for now and forever
cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

your innocent smile used to drive me wild
even though you ain't innocent at all
and now i feel so stupid cause i'm the only man
that ever loved you even with all your flaws

even your best friend questioned why
i still wanted to be with you after knowing your past
but she didn't understand in knowing your past
was why i thought we could past

(what happened to us)
we had something special but
was i not good enough for youet
(are you really in love)
catch some flowers fly because without even trying
i still ended up hurting you and i'm sorry

you're more beautiful than anything in this world
more precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
and even though we didn't work out together
you're still my sunset-set-set-set
and i know that you and i are two worlds apart
but you'll always be the one to have my heart
i'm gonna love you for now and forever
cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

maybe one day we'll end up talking again
maybe one day we'll go back to being just friends
promise to love you baby till my life ends
cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

no matter what happened between me and you
i'll always be the man that you could run to
i loved you then i love you now and forever
cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set-set

A.L.O.N.E

Something is definitely very very very wrong with me.
I used to hate spending any minute outside of my house alone.
I dislike being alone.
Up until recently..
I drove out from the house, got it scratched when I was on the way to the parking lots, went to gramed and purchased three books. Spent at least one and half hour in the mall. alone.
I went to have my nails done at o.p.i nails. alone.
I went to have a massage at ras. alone.
I went up to cambridge to meet with a buyer. alone.
See?
Something is definitely wrong with me.
I think I am soon to be a loner..
I don't really feel like going out anymore as well.
Only when it's necessary for me to go out or because its weekends.
Or is it a sign that I finally wants to move on and be independent?
well well well,
I hope this habit sticks looooooong enough.
then I won't have to spend so much money on the unnecessary stuffs.
haha!

Kiss Mark for Sheila

STOOPID!

GAH!

I am an idiot..!!!

Since sis told me that she can start moving her things out a week before beginning of April. So, last few days, when I checked the flight tickets price, the back of my mind knew that I can only leave town after 26th March 09.

But tonight, I was stupid enough to forget about it. When the flight tickets on 24th is a lot cheaper than on 30th, I went on to purchase a flight ticket to KL on 24th March 09 and back to Medan on 29th March 09.

Few hours after that only I realized that I am that dumb to purchased it without remembering that on 26th March 09, one of my best friends since junior school are getting married and I already purchased a dress for that day too. f***!!!!!!!!! I really felt like banging my head to the walls now!=( She is so gonna kill me for being such a forgetful person!=(

So, the solutions are, its either I changed my flight to 27th or I skip the wedding dinner and only attend the tea ceremony on 19th! =(

DAAAAAAAAMNNNNN IT!!!!!!!!!

Miaps

Its finally Saturday again!=D
I managed to drown my 2009's resolution, it seems like I just cant save up much more than I already did! I have spent an amount for a dress and its gonna be an amount too for my KL trip by end of March.

So far,

Life's been good, there are some ups and downs that involves screaming, yelling and tears.

Work's been hectic! My senior aka the engineer has quit his job and I hate the new engineer.
He walks damn slow, literally turtle moves faster than he is and he talks damn slow as well!!
He actually need to go all the way from A to Z then B to Q and Q to A, just to tell us something! And don't even mentioned his voice volume, sometimes, I wished I have the sound system remote control just to turn it louder so I can actually hear him out!!!!GAWD!
And when I have finished with the quotations for the project, he would literally tell me that there's some materials in the quotations that he need to revised. AND he would DO that REPETITIVELY from 3 to 5 times per day!!!GAH!
In the end, whenever there's a quotation needed to be revise and its originally done by him, I would push the whole draft and soft copy for him to revise himself. I cant be bother to keep on revising it over and over again. I seriously have plenty of other works needed to be done and I dislike to keep on revising stuffs! Grrr..! I hate him!

I gained few ounce and trying to get rid of it, but every time I managed to shed off few ounce, I will gain much more! begh! hate it! And I am blaming my dear sister! Ever since she came back for holiday, I have been eating like crazy for the whole two weeks!!! =( As the results, both of us gained quite a lot and trying to lose it! haih...

And im off from work now!
taaa~
have a great weekend!=D

Jumping Up and Down!!

well well well, it is too much for being so excited over a cheap ticket back n forth Medan to KL.
I've got it yesterday for Rp. 294.000,- for 23th Dec 09 til 27 Dec 09!
Normally, flight tickets around that time usually made me digging out my piggy bank to buy.
Plus normally, it cost me Rp. 2.000.000,- at least.
see the difference?
WOOHOOO!!=p

But the downside about this is,
Where will I be at that time?
Will I still be in Medan?
Will I already be in Singapore or even worst already settling down in Malaysia?
Then the ticket would be going down the drain!
Blah!
Stoopid me!
Got too excited over a cheap-ass ticket and purchased it out of the blue!
BAH!

And now that I can afford things that I want...
I want that H belt super duper badly!!!!
(*think think think..........................*)

Mumbling Updates!

SO!
I have not been updating for quite some time..
Well, haven't been doing anything "important".
Spent the whole cny at home and places around the town.
Bubx was here on the third day and went back on Sunday.
cny for me is equal to eating festive!!
Every where I turned, there's always bunch of foods offered.
We even went to J.W. Marriot to have buffet for brunch..
That's the second time I went there to have buffet, it was good, lots of choices, and that's just it. Jogoya is still my ultimate fave spot for buffet!!!=D
And there's not much difference in the price range if its to be converted in Rupiah!
Overall, my cny is good and I am rich now coz of the amount of hongbao I received.
HA!=p

I splurged some of my hard-earned money (mind you! not hongbao's) to a dress.
Since one of my good friends is getting married this March.
......
My very first burnt-a-hole-in-my-pocket kinda dress.
I adore the dress.
Practically checking on it every day.
(talking about a kid's excitement when she got her very first barbie doll.)
*silly*

I have got my 'earlier' valentine gifts as well!
I love love love love themmmmmmmm!!!!=D
Gonna have dindin on valentine's day with my sis and nova and bunch of friends at Sushi Tei. Yummy Yummy!

Now Now..
Back to work!=(
Pixies will be updated when I'm not procrastinating anymore.
taa~

New Year, New Life? Perhaps?

Well well well..
I have been absent from blogspot for quite sometime eh..
hehe..
I have been busy doing all sort of things like : -

I finally tried to make brownies!=)
Results : Everyone loves it!=D

I obviously ditched my sleeping-early resolutions and still sticking my ass to sleep-around-12AM-or-my-bed-is-laughing-its-arse-off-at-me kinda thing..

Spending like a mad-cow whom just released from the cage. NOO! I have not break the shopping resolutions.. BECAUSE!! They are all matchy-matchy to my shoes and bags collections =D

Finally made up my mind and purchased Guerlain's KissKiss Lipgloss! after wasting totally unnecessary time to think about it.. *sigh!* the side-effect from being a Libra..

Made an appointment in this new nail parlor at Cambridge. The place looks clean and fancy!=D

Cut my fringe to the straight-kiddy like fringe. idk how to explain. ha!=p

And I'm scared to even think about my bills that are coming by end of this month.. *crap*