eventually..

I am the most annoying and demanding bitch in this whole world when I WANT something so badly. And most of the time, I GET what I WANT. No matter what it takes. But this time, I got beat down by the immigration for failing to get visa-sponsor from a company that I want to work for. I also failed to grab on a thin line that has become an addiction and necessity (mind you, its not drugs or booze or ciggies). A thin line that, literally, has turned into an obsessive compulsive disorder. And believe me, it didn't end up well for me. It's ugly, messy and bloody (okays, not really bloody.. I was just exaggrating things!)
Two failures came at the same time.
It is bloody right?=(
oh well..
I have *finally* come around to accept the point that you can't always have what you want.
Something(s) are just not meant to be yours.
All you can do is put on a big smiley face and be tough.
Because whatever it is, if it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger...
or so I heard..

Well well well..

Its kinda late now..
Gotta go to bed and to work tomorrow.. haix..
And I'm gonna go to this Urban Jazz Crossover @ JWM thing tomorrow..
I hope its gonna be fun!
I need FUN!
taa~

i said she said.. here we are.

What is your current obsession?
* Loss 2kgs

What is your weirdest obsession?
* i have to have what i wan

What are you wearing today?
* now? pjamas!(=

What’s for dinner today?
* mum's chicken rice

Why is today special?
* i heard some good news... well, i wont tell! I don't want to jinx it! wait for the premiere la!=p

What would you like to learn to do?
* to be more organized and focus!

What’s the last thing you bought?
* earrings from nova

What are you listening to right now?
* Chillin - Wade ft. Lady Gaga

What is your favorite weather?
* Cloudy and windy day.

What is your most challenging goal right now?
* Finish all of my work on time and stop procrastinating!!

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
* lil sis : totally smart and dimwitted at the same time. confused? go figure!=p

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
* KL! hihi..

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
* Money!! end of month dy!! (sounds like my sis alr)

What would you like to get rid of?
* past! well, since we cant do anything about it, how about.. my messy room instead?=p

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
* E.U.R.O.P.E!! for like three months!!!

Which language do you want to learn?
* hmm... lets stick to the easiest and the one that I really need, Cantonese!!

What do you look for in a friend?
* honesty, caring, bitchy (not to each other, but we can be bitchy about other things together.. eg. my beloved darling Melissa!!!)

Who do you want to meet in person?
* Adrian and Irving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s your favorite type of music?
* anything nice!=D practically listens to any kind of musics.

What’s the favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
* tee and shorts

What is your dream job?
* anything that involves being free, cooking and traveling!!

Any favorite models?
* nah.. but if I have to pick, Agyness Deyn wud do too..

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
* Lomo!

Favorite designer?
* Vera Wang

Do you admire anyone’s style?
* Yep. Blair Waldrof's.

Describe your personal style!
* chic!

too much

I have been, literally, screaming out loud what I felt, what I hate, what I dislike, and what I don't agree on. It has reached to the point of too-much and I just want it all to stop. I want the old Anita back!! The one that has her own 'remote-control' to her emotions. I would easily put on a I-don't-give-a-damn face and no one would even notice that I was so frustrated and furious inside.
I want that Anita back.
And I want it now.
So, from now on, that smiley and all bubbly Anita is back.
So long honest face..!
*evil grins*

my current fave!

super duper in love with this song!!
check this one out!=D
I have also put blue sky collapse at the left side bar..
check that one out too!=D

How much I have missed you..

Dear Old Friend,

I miss those times when we would try so hard to get out of the 'normality of the city'
I miss those times when you were around to pick me up from my bad-moods
I miss those times when you always call to check on me
I miss those times when we would go out to nowhere and giggling all the way
But most importantly,
I miss you
I'm sorry for making things go all wrong between us.
I'm sorry for pushing you away when you are hurt because of what I have done.

Please don't leave me
Pink

Da da da da
da da da da

Da da da da da,

I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you out of here?
Or said something insulting?

Da da da da da

I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything,
I could cut you into pieces,
But my heart is, broken.

Da da da da da

Please don't leave me [x2]
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious,
What is it with you that makes me act like this,
I've never been this nasty,
Can't you tell that this is just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest,
But baby I don't mean it,
I mean it, I promise

Da da da da da

Please don't leave me [x2]
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud,
How beautiful you really are to me,
I can't be without,
You're my perfect little punching bag,
And I need you,
I'm sorry.

Da da da da
da da da da

Da da da da da

Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me (no, don't leave me)

I always say how I don't need you,
But it's always gonna come right back to this,
Please don't leave me,

Please, please don't leave me.

HA! look at how funny those lyrics are!
basically she needed that boy for punching bag.
I want one too!!

ice cream dont make me feel happy anymore

I remembered how sugar can easily fix my mood.
No matter how bad or how sad I was feeling, a cup of ice cream normally would fix my mood. I'll feel more optimistic and ready to deal with the problems. But not for today, it feels like the 'ice cream' has betrayed me. I no longer feel happy or a lil bit better after I had them.
I just wish that this feeling of sorrows can just go away.
gawd.. when is this actually gonna end?
why every time one problem solved, another one comes along..